abra KADAVER

I am Nifty W. Sodomy. I look like this:

I’m seventeen. Yeah. I know.

I’m probably one of the most intelligent seventeen year olds you’ll ever talk to. No doubt.

I’m a /b/tard.

I’m addicted to Red Bull.

I have the most beautiful dog in the world. She’s better than yours. She’s also an Egyptian goddess.

I strive to one day be an Alaina Beaton-Jeffree Star hybrid.

I can play piano. I also love listening to it.

Matt Skiba is the only man meant for me. Oh. And Henry Rollins.

I am in favor of a partially command economy.

I’m a grammar Nazi.

I have no respect for very young mothers, unless their name happens to be R2.

I once ate an entire carton of ice cream in under five minutes.

I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life.

If Brandon Rike, Toby Morell, or Stephen Christian asked me to kill you, I would have no other option but to do it.

I’m as queer as the day is long.

I’m very quick to anger, unfortunately.

I’m Swedish and German. Suck it. <3

I listen to everything. Except gospel. And polka. Fuck polka.

One of the things that differentiates me from my age group the most is that I’m NOT into eighty pound boys who act and dress like girls.

I’m extremely opinionated. I will argue with you about pretty much anything, just because I feel like it.

I used to write a lot. Then I realized that writers are a dime a dozen, and in America’s modern culture they won’t make it unless they write books about faggoty vampires or catty high school girls.

Nietzsche is my hero.

I have so little faith in humanity that even I’m astounded by it sometimes.

I am definitely two things: I am funny, and I am intelligent. Everything else is up to question.

I want to hang out with Velvet Acid Christ someday.

I love piercings. Unless they’re nostril piercings. Those are graosss.

I listen to Twiztid. This does not mean that I am the “family” of every half-retarded white trash imbecile who expects me to be buddy-buddy with him despite the fact that he can’t read and hasn’t showered in three weeks.

I love getting my hair colored. I love getting pierced. I love altering my body in general. By the time I die, I want to have numerous tattoos and piercings. I will also have had every color of hair in the spectrum.

I am extremely anti-religion.

Got questions? Ask.

Pond’s been bitching at me lately to post more. So I figured I should. I guess I’ll just post about what’s been up with me lately…which isn’t much, but ya know.

Junior year’s almost over. Not necessarily the best time ever. I did meet a cool teacher (Inorite?), though, which is good, I suppose. Next year will definitely be better, what with short day.

Got to 00′s in my ears the other day. I wanna go bigger.

Finally seventeen, as of April 7th. Just one more year and I can tell the baggage in my life to fuck off. Namely, my maternal side, who I hope is reading this. To that end: I hate you.

I have an amazing man, as of February 2, 2010. He’s a daygo, but I suppose I can forgive that. He’s great. Adorable, sweet, of adequate intelligence, kind, and never fails to make me laugh.

I’m really losing a lot of faith in females as of late. As if there was any to lose. I’ve seen them hurt too many good people, on one occasion, that woman was myself. I won’t forgive myself for that. On a side note, I really wish that I could find just one that claims to like me and actually means it. I want a real pseudo-relationship. Just to know that not all of us are evil.

(By the way, I’ll always think you’re beautiful.)

I really hurt someone recently. And I hope they know someday just how sorry I am. I’ve learned recently that it’s better to hurt someone and get it over with, as opposed to dragging it out. They might be over what I did by now if I had known that sooner. I recently did to that person what was done to me by one of the only two people in this world I truly hate. I told myself I would never do that to another person, because the pain of having it done to me was so insurmountable that I’m still not over it, even after two years. I don’t think I ever will be. I’m going to have to do a lot of reflection on this, for a long time. Maybe someday I’ll be good at this relationship thing.

A wise man told me today that I need to remain sweet. I find this hard to do, in a world full of so much adversity and bull shit. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to. I would. I want to be a sweet, loving, wonderful person in spite of a world that, in my mind, only wants to eat me alive. I just see no reason to have faith in humanity. How can I, when all they’ve shown me is that they want to devour all they can and leave nothing in return? I don’t see it. I want to. Nonetheless, a lot of what he told me was beautiful. I won’t go into detail, for the sake of not stealing his work, but let me tell you this: it really did make me stop and think. Not many people can do that. Not many people make me think, wow. Maybe I could use some guidance.

It’s funny how the people who barely know you can affect you the most.

Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking on emotions, and how I lacked them for the past several months. Over summer ’09, I was a hermit. My father was really the only person who ever saw me. I was on auto-pilot, rarely thinking of anything but what I was doing that day. I blame this partially on the fact that I was hurt in March. Badly. March is always a bad month for me. I retreated into myself, not talking to anyone about anything in-depth, and not feeling anything. I now truly know what it is to not feel anything. I entered into a relationship in August of ’09, while still lacking in feelings. That was my mistake, and I’ll carry it with me for some time, I’m sure. I should not have gone into something like that without the ability to feel emotions and put myself fully into it. I know this now. Wish I had several months ago. Recently, I came back into contact with a person I met about five years ago, but hadn’t spoken to for a long time. We instantly connected. He made me laugh like no one else can. He made me want to listen to music again. And, most shockingly, he made me feel emotions. I thought it would never be possible, but I started feeling happiness. Entertainment. Laughter. I also felt sadness. I fell into a spell of depression wherein I could think of nothing but what had happened to me in March. I had forced myself not to acknowledge it for so long, and now I had to. I would cry every day, not because of him, but because he had reminded me of how great and how terrible it is to feel. I’ll always be thankful to him for it.

My point is, I see this as connected to what the aforementioned wise man said. It was so hard for me to relate to people, to be kind to them, to be a good person in general when I was an emotionless robot. With my recent regained ability to feel, I think I may just be able to be that sweet person I know I could be if I tried.

-Nifty W. Sodomy

I found this on Facebook and completely agreed. Not taking credit.

“Ever get tired of listening to Justin Beiber telling you one time? Or the Jonas Brothers singing about when you fuck them in the ass? I mean, when you look them in the eyes?
Radio Stations need to begin playing all music genres… Like now.

It’s absurd that other people get to listen to their whiny crap by so called “rock stars” that are only famous because they are 10 year olds going through puberty singing about their first dances and lonely girls or because underaged girls find them attractive and praise the ground they walk on. Most of the artists/ bands playing on radio stations use auto-tune and frankly don’t give a shit about their ‘music’. When there are many successful bands and aspiring musicians out there who kill every show and put everything into their work but can only go so far because the media often refuses to take the spotlight off the Disney stars and the hot celebrity gossip.”